If you haven’t heard Toh Kay’s album “Streetlight Lullabies” yet, you need to. It’s gorgeous. You’ve done it again, Tomas Kalnoky, you’ve done it again.
I forgot how much I love trolling people
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Hi Stranger: Hi You: How are you? Stranger: Asl? You: No Stranger: And good You: I prefer to shroud myself in mystery Stranger: Weird Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: hello You: hi Stranger: asl? You: Asl?
You: hi Stranger: looking for older guy who likes preteen girls You: that’s creepy You: you find pedophilia attractive? Stranger: its not pedophilia if your 14 You: Yeah it is if they are older than 18 Stranger: not if u look mature You: and you used the wrong your. It’s supposed to be you’re. You: It doesnt matter how old you look it’s still...
You: hi You: ………… Stranger: Hi Stranger: How old You: 32 Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: hi Stranger: hi You: im bored You: youre boring zoidburg You: im gonna go watch tv Your conversational partner has disconnected.
So I’m on cleverbot, then I’ll go on Omegle. Cool story, right?
michaelpalin: intangiblesolidus said: When you orgasm, do you say “That’s a bingo!”? I FUCKIN DO NOW WHAT AN AMAZING MOVIE OMG EVERYONE WAS PERFECT EXCEPT MIKE MYERS WHAT THE HELL BUT O M F G HANS BE MINE YESSSSSS
I love Roger Waters.
[Gerald Scarfe and Roger talking about the end of The Wall concerts]
Gerald: We did talk about how to end the show...
Roger: With me standing naked, or somebody- some poor bastard... On a plinth. It was a good idea, it was just a bit too daring...
Gerald: What, for you to stand naked?
Gerald: You wouldn't do it today would you?
Roger: No. I can hardly stand, never mind standing naked showing people my wrinkly bits.
They call it the American dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.– George Carlin (via madman-writer)
Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.– George Carlin (Back In Town, 1996)
How most people flirt: Hey there, you're pretty cute.
How i flirt: So...what kind of music do you like?
This fucking cold
I’m miserable and just wanna get better for Streetlight and Reel Big Fish
After studying for three hours, here is what I...
Christianity: Wow man it sure is easier to worship god and not go to hell now this is super duper
Peasants and Nobles: Man we hate corrupt clergy time for like six million reforms that keep failing
Jews: We don't bother anyone just living in these ghettos you make us live in
Muslims: We've just got our empire over here NBD
Papacy: Fuck you monarchs and nobles we be ballin' we run the world
Inquisition: NO ONE SUSPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION
Catholic Church: Get out of here Eastern Orthodox church you are annoying here we excommunicated you
Eastern Orthodox Church: Well we excommunicated you too so there
Catholic Church: Let's go on some fucking CRUSADES
Eastern Othodox Church: YEAH
Peasants: Let's kill some Jews
Jews: What the heck guys not cool
Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches: They see us crusadin', they hatin'
Catholic Church: Crusadin' against the Eastern Orthodox Church lol
Eastern Orthodox Church: Are you KIDDING ME
Jews: Ugh we are just going to Eastern Europe bye
Muslims: Wow Christians only one crusade out of like four worked out for you and you lost everything from that one way to go
Christians: Well we're not crusading anymore we're just fighting with all the other religions all the time
Pagans: God dammit
Genghis Kahn: Hey guys
I forgot how good Coldplay’s album “Viva La Vida” is. Fuck all you haters this album is gorgeous. MKAY?
To Work On
I don’t know, I don’t care, and it doesn’t make any difference.– Jack Kerouac (via artgarfunkel-)